"Ode to My Darker Self"
Do not give into that darkness, my tired ally
The weight may be heavy, but it becomes the norm
You will learn to carry that world, high upon your shoulders
Your feet will blister and bleed, your tears will run dry
I beg you not to fall too deep, where I cannot save you
My voice is still ringing in your ears, calling you back
High hopes are in my words, dreaming of better times
You will doubt me, second guessing every moment
Your heart will ache, but it will heal those scars
I will show you that light, that has eluded you
Twenty years of swimming, neck deep in the struggle
Arms grow sore, while you kick your feet trying to stay above
You will learn from this, shaping you into the man you wish to be
Your time spent in that prison, will be nothing but a memory
I know that you will rise above, stronger than you ever were
"Ode to My Light"
It's like swimming. Moving through the space that we inhabit. It's disorienting. My words fail me now even as I write this to you. It's like not being able to speak. My words fumbling and falling short under my breath. It's like choking. Your own body rejecting the air you breathe. It's like reaching. Your hands grabbing at nothing as you slip further down. It's like being the martyr. Everything is wrong because you are the wrong. It's like pain. Laughing hurts, crying hurts, taking in the smile of your neighbor hurts, writing a letter to your mother hurts, looking your father in the eyes hurts, going to work hurts, falling in love hurts, second guessing hurts, eating hurts, sleeping hurts, fear hurts, hope hurts, but most of all being hurts.
