Strange Life: A Guide to Survive by, Vol. 1

Strange Life:

A Guide to Survive by, Vol. 1

 

Foreword:

Thank you for your interest in improving yourself! With life being as hard as it is, everyone needs a different perspective. Improve yourself! Better your goals! Take a stab at the good life! With this guide we will take a look deeper into what makes you, you! Dive in and take the steps into what it means to live!

 

Working on It:

There are plenty of twists and turns along the way to content. Dear reader, take a chance to examine the good that is in your life. Examine where you could go and who you could be. Take a chance physically, emotionally and mentally!

This is Breathing:

Stress, anxiety, and depression are like a cancer. They eat away at you and break down the walls or barriers you built so high. All just to get through the day! You’re daily routine has become a safety net over the years. Resuming it whenever you feel that crack in the wall. Now that wall has big gaps in it. Your routine is plagued by the thoughts, actions, trail of your mind that gives way to long nights spent awake and staring at the ceiling. Break away from it all and take a walk. Look at the world you inhabit. Breathe in the air around you, it was meant to be.

Tattoos, Alcohol, and the Rhythm of Music:

You’ve made changes, but are they the right ones? You figured that if you change your appearance, change some of those habits, or rework some of the old ones, that you will begin again. Starting that new chapter takes much more than adding some ink to your skin or spending more time in crowds at the bars. Remember to revive old passions. Sing your favorite songs, move your body to the rhythms. Don’t change yourself back to your old style or old habits entirely. Embrace some of the changes, but don’t forget where you came from. Don’t forget the family that loves you and supports you. The friendships you’ve built and sacrificed for. You’re a good person, so don’t hide that behind some trivial things.

Effort:

The act of being is a brilliant thing. We strive to continue on, we crawl on towards a goal. Is it unattainable or is it just within reach? Questions that will continue on till the said goal is lost or won. It’s amazing what we’ll do to get somewhere in life. Hunting to survive, breathing thinking the air was meant for us. The drive to gain a simple piece of paper with your name. A golden star for your trial and tribulation. Keep your chin up, some will say. Look towards that goal, another will say. You’ve worked hard for your goals, whether it is that diploma that you’ve poured years into or that promotion at work that took time to build repertoire to gain. No matter the goal, keep it up! Surely, you can’t have be all for not.

On Dealing with Death:

Fear not the cold chill. This is something unavoidable. There will be things that will never gain answer. Forget that brush with the reaper. He gives freebies. Death comes knocking and you either flee or stand before it. Fight or Flight. Thinking on this topic could drive some insane. When will it happen? Why focus on that, when there is so much to live for? Then there is the opposite side, when it happens, what it will feel like. Whether it is slow or fast, painful or painless, it will happen. The obsession with death, the obsession with the end. It will be the death of you.

Femme Fatales and Silver Tongued Devils:

Life can be difficult to work with. When you feel overwhelmed and desire to feel a connection with someone else, it can drive you mad. You’ve probably spent nights alone in your apartment. Making dinner for two but only to feed one mouth. Late nights binge watching the shows you love, the Netflix queue over abundant with things you may or may not ever watch.

Do not fret! Go out and take yourself to the town! Explore the world you’ve been missing out on for years. There are worries though. Beware a woman that has good intent. She will enslave you and make you hers. She will keep you in tiny boxes and make you feel the mistakes of your future. She holds a cigarette pressed tight between lips burnt red, blowing smoke into the night. Her eyes are traps and you know better than to put all your trust into her. You see her sitting down from the bar. Move towards her and offer a drink. Take her home and be sure to use those words that mean all the right intent. Don’t feel sick the next morning with your decision. Everyone goes through this, everyone has a night they choose to forget. Just don’t make any new bad habits.

Coffee and Mint Bubblegum Saves Lives:

There should be one thing in your life, during a crisis, which takes the forefront of your mind. If it’s school, don’t forget to set your alarm. Waking up late every time and struggling to get work done. Let’s look at Dave and see how a typical day of school can get hectic when it doesn’t take the primary slot in his head and concerns:

“3:00 AM: Finally fall asleep amongst your fort, you left Parks and Recreation playing in the background. Funny dreams may ensue.

8:00 AM: Clock goes off, the loudmouth bastard. Ignore him and maybe he’ll go away.

10:00 AM: Shit! Oversleeping again and need to hurry out the door.

11:00 AM: ON campus and I didn’t do any of my reading… binge reading is my life.

3:00 PM: This place gives me nightmares. They say it was a riot building, pretty much still is…

5:00 PM: Home, now what to do? Homework? That’s funny. Turn on the TV.

3:00 AM: Shit… it’s that late?”

Don’t be like Dave.

Good Guys vs the Finish Line:

Wake up and tell yourself that you are going to be a good person. Don’t drink yourself to sleep every night. Make sure you care about every living, breathing person that has existed, exists, and will enter this world. Hold the door open for the elderly, care about the single mom. Forgive them all for their trespasses. Accept people for who they are. Make someone smile and do not break hearts. There is someone waiting for a person LIKE you. That finish line is not so far away when you squint your eyes tight, yeah just like that.

The Fear of Falling Apart:

Dear reader, despite these tribulations, there is still the method of self-examination. Look into yourself and see what has been there, festering. Face your fears and stare deep into the eyes looking back from the mirror!

Security in Numbers:

Reality is scary. When the world is opening up and you begin to take on more and more of what it means to live, you will both curl up and die or rise to the occasion… am I meant to rise to this?

Anyways, when the world comes down and you feel your every nerve begin to tense. Your body either flees or fights. There is a halt though. The sudden freezing. When you realize that only a few days separate you from the world of living. Will you use those excess pillows at night to stack them tall? Building them up so that you can feel some sense of security from reality while you sleep.

Lost Loves:

Love is a thing that is named in books. Seen on the screen of a theater, or told from word of mouth.

“I love you, I did what I could to save our future. I made the wrong decision leaving you. Ending this what the biggest mistake of my life and I want you back.”

“When everything fell apart, you were there to pick me back up. You taught me to live for myself again. In the end I fell in love with you, but you used that to your advantage. I hate you, I love you. I never want to see your face again.”

“I met you when I really tried to start fresh again. You’re a breath of something new and familiar all in one. You understand what I’ve gone through but I could never love you like you want. The spark is not there, I just hope I can find the strength to tell you one day.”

“Fitting into my new lifestyle, I met you and it has been an interesting ride thus far. I don’t know your intent and I think you figured me out. I have no clue what I’m doing and I don’t know how to love again.”

“We met by circumstance and I think we knew there was no love in our actions. Lust overpowered us and we took a chance to spend one night in each other’s warmth. Please forgive me, wherever you are, I chose to forget your name.”

Don’t fall in love again. Don’t fall in love with your best friend. Don’t think back to your ex. Don’t compare anyone to her. Don’t wish that she was here instead. Write stories to help drain what remains in your head of her. Break a heart, it makes you feel better, makes you feel in control. Don’t look over to see if they are around. Don’t call her. Don’t let her know you wanted her back the moment she started packing. Don’t let her know that you fell in love after her. Don’t fall in love. Don’t fall in love. Don’t fall down just to get back up. Don’t fall down. Don’t get back up.

Parental Guidance May Be Required:

Smoke. Drink. Play a chord. Repeat. Smoke. Drink. Play a chord. Repeat. Smoke. Drink. Yell at the wife. Play a chord. Repeat. Smoke. Drink. Scream at the wife. Hold your boy by the throat. Repeat. Smoke more. Drink More. Scream at the wife. Never leave chair. Yell at dog. Push sons away. Repeat. Cycle Break.                     Begin New Cycle… Sit in chair. Sit through pain. Smoke. Drink. Pop pill. Yell at dog. Yell at wife. Push sons away. Play a chord. Don’t be like me. Be a better man than I am. Repeat.

Wake. Smack alarm. Sleep more. Get up. School. Work. Drink. Think. Wake. Smack alarm. Sleep more. Get up. School. Work. Drink. Think. Wake. Smack alarm. Feel the pain in your insides. Try to sleep more. School. Work. Feel bitter in your own skin. Drink. Pain. Think. Pain. Wake. Smack alarm. Pain. Wish for death. No sleep. Lay in bed wishing for death. Get up. Drink. School. Work. Drink. Feel bitter. Pop a pill. Pain. Think. Pain. Sleep comes late. Pain. Wake. Pain. Smack alarm. Pain. Drink. Wish for death. I became my father. Think. Wish for death. Wish to be a child again.

The Physicality of Pain:

Pain has a weird way of working. It can pop up from the smallest of things wrong. The tingling, burning of the sting. It can be external and internal. The latter will break you down quicker than any other. Pills will not work. Changing your diet will not work. Good rest and healthy living haven’t done anything. There isn’t a moment when the pain is not present. Sickly, burning in the gut. Like acid melting away the linings and exposing sores. Open wounds hurt the most if not seen. Shaking hands, the tremor is omnipresent. Drinking numbs the pain. Making boys become men like their fathers. No sleep kills the light that was in dreamer’s eyes. The heart becomes bitter and trust becomes rare.

Ulcers plague my body. My stomach. They sting. They burn. They ache. I don’t eat. I don’t want to sleep. I’m so tired of my body doing this. I feel like death is with me when the pain is here. I almost wish that I were dead. I’m angrier, I’m more irritable. I don’t recognize myself anymore. When there is nothing but pain you lose sight of who you were.

Remnants of Humanity (In Return):

Soft scents. Warmth in her touch. How I miss this. This feeling of completion.

“Do you think we’ll be okay?”

I can’t handle this. All these memories, all this working through your problems bullshit. What if I never could handle life? What if I never could show anyone else how?

“I don’t know.”

“I still love you.”

I will fall into myself and feel that spiral down into the bottom. Remember to breathe. Feels more like choking. What if I can’t afford student loans after I graduate? What If I die alone? What if I missed my shot at true happiness? What If? What if?

“You’ll find someone better than me, you’ll move on.”

“How can I? When all I’ll do is compare everyone to you. No one will ever be you…”

How to Live Again (Dealing with Life):

There is no clear answer anymore…

  

In Closing:

There is still work to be done. If you wish to continue on with your betterment, look for Volume 2!